: Archive

Poetry - Cooler than Ice

For a while now I’ve been running a weekly creative writing workshop at HIV charity Body and Soul. My original aim was to provide some form of relief - when you wake up each day with a virus people don’t understand and don’t want to talk about, writing things down can be immensely cathartic. But what I hadn’t prepared for was the unexpected bonus - writers on the course...

Aug 20th

12 notes

6 tags

Home-Made ‘Nutella’ Hazelnut Truffle in a Big Fat...

These big fat pancakes remind me of the soybean filled ones I gorged upon in Tokyo this April. I always love the idea of biting into something so fluffy and pancakey at the same time, but the fact that the soybean looks like chocolate but tastes like something else has always been a crushing blow. After drooling over a beautiful article on Poires Au Chocolat, I had to try making my own Nutella....

Jun 27th

7 notes

7 tags

A Crown of Squash

One of my discoveries in Borough Market today was a new kind of squash. Not new as in, never before seen by human eyes (as far as I’m aware), but new to me. I don’t even know what kind of squash it is, but it’s small, round, and the kind of orange that you’d want to pull out of your paintbox and colour your hair with. If anyone thinks they can identify it by that description then please do let me...

Jun 21st

6 tags

A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Victoria...

There’s a lady being fucked from behind. The lady is white and the cock is big and black. She’s made up with those Amy-Winehouse style cat eyes that everybody seems to like these days, and her silicone tits are huge, defying gravity. The man with the penis is hardly visible. Really, he’s just a cock. This is a picture from a pornographic magazine. It’s been neatly cut out, pasted onto a piece...

Jan 26th

6 tags

And then I landed

If you’ve ever watched The Jungle Book, you might be able to form yourself up a fairly good image of my first view of Kolkata. The ground emerged from beneath misty aeroplane haze. I saw luscious, jungly clusters of palm trees and odd, irregular-shaped houses. Deep jewels glistened and shimmered in the ground, eventually revealing themselves to be dark pools of water. But as we came to land I...

Dec 19th

1 note

5 tags

Taste of India

This Tuesday, I’ll be jumping on a plane and flying out to Kolkata, India. Why? Because Child In Need Institute (CINI) have asked me to write an article on the work they do to support malnourished families. I’ll be finding out what it’s like to be a mother in a country where a child dies every fifteen seconds. Hell, I don’t even know what it’s like to be a mother back here. Am I nervous?...

Dec 4th

5 tags

TEDx London

I woke up early on Thursday morning, stinking of whisky and ideas. On Wednesday night The Hub hosted their very first (hopefully of many) TEDx London event, where a series of fascinating speakers came to share their ideas with the world. And it wasn’t just the speakers who had something to say. In advance, the audience were all given an opportunity to choose a few key words which were printed...

Nov 6th

5 tags

Dear Simon Armitage,

I really enjoyed reading your collection ‘The Not Dead.’ Well, I didn’t enjoy it exactly. It hurt to read it. It hurt in the way that all beautiful things should hurt, like when you walk into a Catholic church and there’s Christ, hanging from the cross in all his majestic pain and glory with the sins of the world being poured down upon him and all you can look at is the glorious definition of his...

Oct 27th

3 tags

Bernard Matthews Stole my Faith in Humanity

I want to believe the Holocaust deniers I want to know that no man, no matter how angry Or proud of his nation Could lock the door on a chamber full of humans, Then come back later To stack up the bodies like meat. But then I remember how we treat our meat How living creatures sit Raw-bellied, swollen, stacked On shelves, the smell of dead Flesh, grey, clinging to half-alive skin I tear up...

Oct 11th

1 note

4 tags

If KITT was a snail...

“Check out my Molluscular Bondage Shell!”

Sep 28th

Instant Rigor Mortis

Another sweaty night at Poetry Unplugged leads to Abi’s first ever mention in The Guardian, in the amazing sentence: “…poems mainly about sex (including one about having sex with a corpse)” Yep, that was me. Click here to read the full article by Stephen Moss. Click here to catch Abi performing her necrophiliac spectacular.

Sep 11th

5 tags

Sep 5th

Moustache?

Whoop dee whoop! A rollicking night at Bang! Said the Gun yesterday. Abi WINS a feature length slot in September’s session (and a charming false moustache) with a poetic rap rendition of George Orwell’s Animal Farm. Smack My Pigs Up! Catch her poetic vibes on September 24th at Bang! Said the Gun, The Roebuck, Great Dover Street, SE1

Jul 31st

7 tags

Poetry on the Fort!

Just got back from a full-length poetry sesh on an island fort just off the South Coast. Lasers, hippies and amazing rugs were had by all. Highlights for me included being able to perform next to a fuck-off huge cannon, lots of boat rides and an impromptu MC session over the top of a whole load of Portishead records. 6 piece ska band The Racketeers played loud and heavy in the next room....

Jul 4th

1 note

Open_Sailing wins ARS Electronica!

We did it! Open_Sailing win ARS Electronica in the Next Idea category. Along with the Next Idea Art and Technology Grant, this allows the project a 3 month residency at the ARS Electronica Futurelab in Austria. Many amazing people will be developing many amazing concepts, such as Energy_Animal and Instinctive_Architecture. This is our chance to develop this fascinating concept into something...

May 27th

Watch

Quick 4 minute script I wrote for the Open Sailing Concept. The video’s really cool!

Apr 3rd

The Tissue Issue →

Ever wanted to read an out of date food review or a short poem about masturbation? Check out my articles in Replica Magazine

Mar 26th

Topolski Century Opening Ceremony

Official opening night of the newly restored gallery under Embankment Bridge. Highlights included legendary speeches by loveable chronic bumbler Boris Johnson. (Quote of the evening: “I’d like to say hello to all of the Polish people who are here tonight. Don’t believe what the papers say – you’re really very welcome…”). Click here to read more about political artist and world-wide chronicler...

Mar 16th

Open Sailing: We Make Money Not Art →

We made front page! A collaborative interview on the progress of our post-apocalyptic floating vision.

Mar 15th

Enotria World Wines at the Science Museum

Leading wine merchants Enotria take over the Science Museum with a high profile taster day. Animated backdrop featuring repeated statements to restore brand values: “Enotria. Uncorking Potential. Ah, the power of the thematic pun… Click HERE to find out more about Enotria World Wines

Feb 2nd